When Change Is The Only Constant.

many things to say but little time to put them all down.

1) What's the big deal about birthdays? I kinda think that it doesn't have much meaning anymore.. so what if the person is one year older? It is just like any other day.. the trees age and they are marked with rings on their trunks. The plants grow old and die. 'All things shall perish under the sky..' Sometimes I wished people 'happy birthday' sincerely. yes, they are delighted that you remembered..but so? It's just meaningless. yes, it would be nice if you remembered my birthday but..it's just one day. it's just an ordinary day. they day when you were born, many others died. while you are still alive and celebrating, many still die and others are mourning. I don't know why I brought this up, but it's just something in my little brain.

2) I help a certain someone but i think it's getting a little overboard. look, I help you because I chose to but that doesn't mean that you can depend on me all the time. (yes, i know i'm dependable, but that's besides the point) I really don't like this feeling cause I'm a freeman/ woman.. i need to be close and i need to be free. so can you freakin get off my back for once? ok, a little crude but i hope you get the point.

3) I haven't been able to sleep well and I know.. I asked for it. Sleep paralysis as the name suggest, is the feeling of being paralysed while in your sleep. A little more to that, your brain is concious and you know that you can't move your body. The first time it happened, I willed myself to get up and out of it. The second time, I knew it was coming and let it be.. that was quite a scare. It came thrice in series, with a feeling a suffocation and hearing weird loud buzzing/mumbling sound. yes, I prayed feverishly. maybe I shouldn't pray..don't know why. I just wanted to distract myself and make time pass..

anyway..that's all for now.

May there be light..