When Change Is The Only Constant.

If skill C was tested today, I would have flunked it with a beautiful oval. I'm serious. I've had enough of my nonsense! How can I keep failing? I've never failed so many times before. Though one will say, 失败乃兵家常事。I'm not used to being the one failing. I win in my battles and I make sure the end result is always with me winning. Now, it seems like I have no control over my battles.
I hate to say this but I feel insecure and sadly, I still cannot trust everyone around me totally. Everything seems so superficial and I just lack that feeling to push forward. Studying should not be like what it is now.. Endless tutorials and lectures. I need to really reflect. Meanwhile, I need support :'( I'm really afraid that I might just break down if things continue as they are. I can't even find time to hug and talk to my toy plush or whatever that helps me de-stress. My dad doesn't even allow me to listen to music! Argh!!!!!!