Saturday, September 27, 2008

Magentas are jesters. They are zany, spontaneous, offbeat, outrageous, physical, innovative, in the here-and-now, inventors, attention-seekers. Sometimes they're loners.
The key to understanding the
Magenta Personality Spectrum’s color is their unwillingness to conform to the expectations and norms set by society. These individuals seek to express their individuality by using, with creativity and flair, the belongings and raw materials at their disposal. Because they look at life through a Magenta filter, they tend to be viewed as the nonconformists of the spectrum.
The single most difficult thing for a
Magenta is to understand the difference between commitment and entrapment. For a Magenta to be locked into a nine-to-five job, to be married and have children, and to run a household, would be a form of insanity. They need to learn to create for themselves a lifestyle that works for them and does not impinge on the sensibilities of others. Magentas revitalize our concept of creativity by offering a new perspective, opening new vistas and exploring new points of departure.

Magenta Physical Approach to Life
Reds want to subdue reality, and Oranges want to conquer it; Magentas want to push physical reality to the leaky margins - that locale where fantasy and reality become a blur. Magentas consider life worth living only if they can listen to their own inner drummer. They live on the edge, creating three-dimensional physical environment in their mind's eye that is very different from the one we experience in our day-to-day existence.
Magentas create in the physical environment in ways that are similar to those of their sister Personality Spectrums colors, Red and Orange. They prefer products to abstractions. Magentas work with the tangible but creative material aspects of the world. They find their greatest satisfaction when manipulating, working with, changing, or building something real and specific. So much the better if it is outrageous, off-the-wall and controversial.
Their innovative, creative, fertile minds lead them to explore the unusual, bizarre, arty, or trendy. Their nonconformity allows them to skew their perspective on the world, making them unique. Out of this new, fresh perspective comes the gift of this color, creating experiences that allow the rest of us to see the world from an alternative point of view. It is as if the
Magentas ask us to put on three-D glasses, turning our flat two-dimensional world into one with depth and perspective. Everyday life looks quite different.
Magentas are outrageous, and they prefer it that way. They take pride in their refusal to adapt to any of society's mechanisms of lockstep thinking or behavior. By creating a totally original point of view, Magentas give us an opportunity to laugh at ourselves. They encourage us to find ways to express our own divergent individuality by expressing their own.

Magenta Mental Approach to Life
Magentas have bright, agile minds-fleet as quicksilver. However, they are unwilling to master acres of boring details. They become experts in the field that interests them, or in which they might choose to make a living. But if they do not see much need for information, they refuse to clutter their minds with inessential details. Like the other Physical (environmental) colors, the Magentas are strong-willed and determined about the things they regard as important. They are eclectic in their learning. They can be excellent students when the subject interests them or they see a need to learn about it. Otherwise a Magenta will move heaven and earth to create a diversion-preferably one that entertains the entire class. School subjects that appeal to inquiring minds, taught by teachers who are flexible and creative, are ideally suited to a Magenta. Magentas do well in drama, English, debate, forensics, the arts, science, if allowed to "play" in the tabs), physical education, and crafts such as woodworking and welding.
Magentas need to develop the ability to stay with a project until it is completed. Each new project is like a silver lure, sparkling and twisting through the water, distracting the attention of the Magentas from what they are supposed to be doing. Learning to finish a job is one of the most difficult challenges for a Magenta. Short projects that are easy to bring to conclusion build confidence and pride in the Magenta. Once the Magenta experiences the satisfaction of accomplishment. it becomes easier for him or her to stay focused for longer and longer periods of time. This is one of the major skills necessary to the Magentas' happiness and well-being-it allows them a wider range of career choices and a greater chance of success.
Their mental process appears to be haphazard when, in fact, most
Magentas have a very clear idea of what they want to create, say, or do. Because their nature is to stretch the limits of everything they encounter-products, social customs, mores, relationships, and standards by which most of us judge and evaluate our reality-Magentas are constantly searching for new and different ways to use everyday items. Many Magentas are inventors of those handy gadgets that the rest of us couldn't get along without. They are continually fascinated by what is in the marketplace.

Saturday, September 20, 2008



Of all the things I believe in
I just want to get it over with
tears from behind my eyes but I do not cry
Counting the days that past me by

I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
Looks like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend and I say

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I love
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems like I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes till you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light but it's not right

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

Ohhh yeah
It hurts to want everything & nothing at the same time
I want whats yours and I want whats mine
I want you but I'm not giving in this time

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

We the stars fall and I lie awake
Your my shooting star
I dunno why i try so hard to get certain things that don't really mean much to me. I dun even know what really should matter. Does anything matter? Why does anything matter when we're all going to die anyway. why do we do the things we do, choose the things we choose, even if it hurts?

Thursday, September 18, 2008




Hi people! I'm back! Feeling somewhat UNSTRESSED! Can you believe it? I'm not stressed. Yes I have lots of work to do.. But I'm not freaked out about it. Maybe it's the HOLIDAYS that are coming. ahahaha..


Today, I'm gonna talk about IDENTITY. Identity is not easy to understand. I mean, I don't really know what MY identity is. Is it an image I create and try to follow? Or maybe it's the environment or genes?


So I guess I'm constantly searching, seeking my true identity[is there such a thing?]


So far, I'd like to think myself as someone who is capable of great things. I'm optimistic and will do what it takes to get what I want.


I love to spend a lot.. sometimes on impulse. But it's not the items that I buy but the power to spend and to get a target [I guess I have that hunter instinct like guys]


I love to buy pens, pencils, pencil cases and all sorts of stationery! I think they are really cool for collection and use? Yea, I'm a penaholic. haha. I love pencil cases.. they come in all different forms and shapes and colours. And tells a lot about the owner.


I'm interested in wicca.. it's really a peaceful, environmental-loving religion =]


Here are some stuff I bought today..

Food above all! Yummy double chocolate stuff from chewy junior at bugis junction!

Plastic-feeling shoes from bugis street. Looks quite simple and sweet [Like the new owner =D]




V light weight shoes also from the same shop. Nice and comfy. Retro feeling. 10 bucks per pair!





Cheap watch. 5 bucks. But I like the mix of roman and numerical.. it's kinda showing there's a change in way of representation. Also the feel of the metallic strap is different from the norm.



In short, I love changes for the sake of changes. It gives me a new idea, a new way of looking at things. And im curious about how things can be. =]

So.. Bye bye shoes.. bye bye nike watch...


Monday, September 15, 2008

haha.. i watched wall-E this week..it's so sweet and funny! go catch guys!


Here's a short clip


Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Yup.. was just reading about some friendship stuff.. I think it's nice to have guy friends? But seriously, my best gal friend still understands me better. Ha.. is it really a gender thing?

They say the best relationships develop when two people start out as friends first. After all, if you have a platonic relationship with someone, you get to know them on a much more meaningful level, one that isn’t based on sex. Friendships do have the possibility of developing into something more, but there are a few things to consider before you decide to kick it up a notch.
Determine Where the Feelings Are Coming From
It’s important to understand why feelings for your friend have deepened. Have you just
come out of another relationship and are now feeling lonely? Are you having problems in your current relationship? Is your friend in a new relationship that has you feeling a bit jealous for their time? Be honest about the origin of your feelings. You may suddenly think you are in love with your friend, only to fall out of that feeling when your life begins to settle down. Don’t announce the way you feel to your friend until you’re sure your feelings are for real.
Talk to Your Friend
If you both begin having feelings for each other, talking about them becomes much easier. If you don’t know how your friend feels, however, you may be embarrassed to bring the subject up, for fear of
rejection. But the longer you hold in your true feelings, the more awkward things will be in the long run. Approach your friend honestly, but be cautious. Your friend may not share your feelings, and if that’s the case, it might be a bit embarrassing. But if your friend is really your friend, you both will get through it and talk about whether moving your relationship up to the next level is the right decision.
Forgive Your Friend If They Don’t Feel the Same Way
You have to remember that you have had time to process the feelings you have, but when you first
bring it up to your friend, it may come as quite a surprise. Your friend may laugh or even freak out a bit. Let them deal with the information in their own way. Don’t pressure them or make them feel bad if they don’t share your feelings. They may, of course, have unrealized feelings for you too but have never wanted to really think about it. Give your friend space to consider the feelings you have for them. It may take some time.
The Friendship Will Change, and Might Even End
Many pals are hesitant about changing their relationship because they don’t want to lose the companionship they both share. This is a very real fear, because emotions combined with sexual intimacy will change the bond you have. There’s no question about it. However, when one of you begins having feelings for the other, the relationship has already changed. You can’t alter how you feel, but you can’t ignore it either. Like any relationship, good communication is the key to keeping you both on good terms. By talking things through you’ll be able to weather this latest development, and regardless of the outcome, maintain your strong bond.

Monday, September 08, 2008

haha.. can finally take a breather..

Thanks to sha, jan and ben [and others along the way] for the encouraging me all the time.. I survived a month in archi!!!
haha... yea.. hope you guys will continue to be by my side..

thanks for being such nice and good friends. Can't carry on happily without you guys. *hugs

jas

Friday, September 05, 2008

lt's been awhile since I last slept on my bed.. miss my bolster and pillow. Stayed up till7am to complete a totally handmade book. It's not the best but it's fun. Crashed on sofa when I got home at 6.. Got up at 3 today. Ha.. ok gotta start work! =) *hugs I miss going out witu friends..

Monday, September 01, 2008

You think it's quite easy? Lol.. it took me nearly 2 hours I think.. I drew all 20 circles with equilateral triangles in them.. man.. it's the first time I'm such a super neat freak. It looks rather pretty. This is the simplest 'dome' inspired by Buckminster Fuller. Yea, he's the guy who made bucky balls? lol.. This is a one frequency dome as far as I know.. but it looks like some kinda lantern thing you see during Chinese New Year? =D

going for lecture..


Sunday, August 31, 2008


Ha, here's my final model for submision tomorrow, it's not the best.. in fact, it's pretty simple. I've seen others with more complicated and pretty ones. =] But this is my work.. and I should be proud of my own work yea? =] it's quite decent looking ^_^

Friday, August 29, 2008

http://www.boingboing.net/2008/08/28/winged-cats-discover.html

so cute.. =]

Wednesday, August 27, 2008



I Didn't Kiss You

Jennifer, why do you have to go away for three days?
Three days before I see you again it’s too long I can’t wait.
Know how I feel right now? I’m short of breathe, got an ache.
I wanna touch you, wanna hold your hand, see your smilin face
My head is floating, the room is spinning.
When you’re talking I just watch and listen.
I dream about you even when I’m with you. S
hould I pinch myself? I’d rather pinch you.
I want to touch my lips to your soft shoulder skin.
When you enter a room I feel you come in.
I can’t focus on what I’m doing.
My way I want to see you moving.
I melt when you come over to flirt.
Can’t you see my heart beat right through my shirt.
But then last night when you whispered goodbye, you leaned in and closed your eyes.


But I didn’t kiss you! Why didn’t I kiss you!!?I didn’t kiss you! Why didn’t I kiss you!!?


Don’t want to seem too enthusiastic.
Don’t want to get my emotional ass kicked.
You’re an amazing woman, I’m a fucking spastic.
After the first time we went out to eat.
You wanted to dance in the middle of the street
.And you were laughing at my two left feet.
You leaned in for a closer dance. I had the perfect, most obvious chance.


But I didn’t kiss you. AHHHH! Why didn’t I kiss you?I didn’t kiss you! Why didn’t I kiss you!!?


I asked a friend, hey, what should I say?
She said forget it this girl already thinks you’re gay.
NOOOO! I just freeze when I get too close to her face.
Well, she probably thinks you’re not interested, anyway,


Cause, I didn’t kiss you. No. No. Why didn’t I kiss you?I didn’t kiss you! Why didn’t I kiss you!!?

The next time I see you, I'm just gonna kiss you.
The next time I see you I’ll kiss you for the first time.
Next time I see you, I’m gonna walk right up to you.
The next time I see you I’ll put my heart on the line.
But that’s scary. What if you don’t respond? Oh God.
I don’t think I can take that kind of rejection.
I got a better idea. How about. How about. How about.

The next time you see me you just come up and kiss me.
The next time you see me you kiss me for the first time.
Next time you see me, you just walk right up to me.
The next time you see me, it’d be a load off my mind.


I hate that awkward moment right before the first kiss.
Why do I get so nervous that it builds up to this.
Just dive in head first, get the kiss over with.
I hope that my song doesn’t come on too strong.
If I give it to you I hope that I’m not wrong for expressing my frustration and insecurity.
If it makes you run away that it made a fool of me.
But if it makes you want to stay maybe it’s not gonna hurt and if it makes you want to kiss me... Then it worked

Saturday, August 23, 2008

ok.. I've changed da songs on my blog =] Hope you'll like them ;)
Just done with yet another drawing. I not only learnt how to draw but I've also learnt an important lesson.. I learnt that I have to make wiser choices and plan more properly and realistically. I wanted to draw a compass in 4 positions all in 3D and on 1 sheet of paper.. sort of like a cinematography thing. Sure, it could be done.. But I was too ambitious. I didn't have the time and I couldn't draw all 4 of them as it was way too complicated. [considering that i have to draw all the cross sections and what nots in it.] so.. I wasted my whole friday night, thinking how to draw and converting it from 3d in real time and space, to 3d on a 2d plane. Yea.. i decided to give up and settled for less. I drew a tweaser. =] It's so much easier and didn't take me too long to complete. Yet, I've wasted precious time and I have other things to do and submit by monday as well. Sigh. The saddening part is that, I accidently tore that tweaser drawing!!! wth!! =O=O thank goodness its just the side and not the main drawing. I hope my teacher won't mind.

Dad's not very pleased with me and thinks that my attitude is poor. But seriously, are all good architects neat? =_= I'm not neat, but I still wanna be an architect.. will I not get to be one just because I'm not neat?

sigh.. shall prepare for the next day

ciao.

Monday, August 18, 2008


yup, today's my bdae.. and wanna give thanks to:

sha, esther, jielin, arun, benjamin, xinyi, goh chern, xiang yeow, candice, carol, ji wei and many others who sent their well wishes.

[the above is in random order, from what I recall]

I'm proud to say I've completed part of my assignment. Topic's on sensuality =]
Here's a pic of the 16 drawings used to explain the word, sensuality. Like it? ^_^

Now's part 2 of the assignment and I shall think about the clay model we're going to make. Keep you guys updated soon ;)



You Are Impact



You are very unique and quite striking. You are forceful and aggressive.

You never go unnoticed, and people recognize your power instantly.



While you make your presence known, your message is a bit fuzzy.

You are not the easiest person to understand, and you're not one for details.








Who Should Paint You: Gustav Klimt



Sensual and gorgeous, you would inspire an enchanting portrait..

With just enough classic appeal to be hung in any museum!








What Your Ideal Wedding Dress Says About You



Your Personal Style:



Funky and a bit retro. You draw from a lot of inspirations, but you always look put together.



Your Ideal Wedding:



A simple outdoor wedding with a few close friends.



Your Philosophy on Marriage:



Marriage is a journey. It's not all about who you're married to. It's also about how you approach it.



Your Perfect Marriage:



Has lots of open communication, flexibility, and understanding. Where both people are happy to give more than get.







Your Love is Based on Commitment



You believe that love is something that develops and grows.

You don't believe in love at first site, and you never mistake lust for love.

For you, love is about mutual devotion, respect, and understanding.

You don't feel comfortable in a relationship, unless you're both in it for the long run.



Why your love can last: You don't take commitment lightly - or leave relationships easily



Why your love can fail: You're so committed, you often can't see the most obvious problems in your relationship

Saturday, August 09, 2008




Your Learning Style: Idealistic and Flexible



You enjoy learning anything that can help others... from making the world more beautiful to saving lives.



You Should Study:



Architecture

Environmental Science

Fashion Design

Forestry

Interior design

International Studies

Literature

Music

Nursing

Restaurant management

Studio Art

Veterinary Medicine

haha.. I think I ought to watch my expenditure.. Been spending a lot lately. I've got myself some electronic devices.. and the amount I spend on clothes, food, entertainment.. gosh. I think I've spent at least 3 thousand bucks for the past few months. Sigh.. I hope there are work opportunities that I can take on when studying.

=] I love spending my own money!=]

Next time I'll learn to make money work for me ;)

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

It's my last day at work but I couldn't finish one last bit.. so I'm going back to get my business done! haha.. treated da ppl to KFC =] it's not too bad. Mdm's gonna make me whipped potato! my fav.. =] so loving.. hahah..

Hope I'll get to work with them again sometime.. =p

I totally hate the bidding thing.. sigh.. no point complaining..

Going out with Damien!! Gosh.. it's been NINE MONTHS since we last met. dotz. My kid would be born if I concieved in october.. ahaha.. old joke old joke =p

Yup.. Can't wait to meet him ^_^ so we can go watch X files and look at some exhibition stuff. [Note: I tried calling the other gals but they couldn't make it.. and I promised to go out with him someday.. since he's studying med in Britain soon.. *sniff sniff]

Sunday, July 27, 2008

School's starting soon and I'm pretty excited. I haven't really been planning my life, my time all these while.. and I'm quite set to do well and get the most out of my education this time.

I still haven't figured out my path.. but I shall embrace my new course with an open mind.. and try to find my own answer to the simple but difficult-to-answer question: What is architecture?


Tuesday, July 22, 2008

haha.. I had a fun time at sentosa with sha, jan n jack! ^_^

jack shared his first time and I shared mine with him.. hahaha!! sounds so wrong! @_@

what I meant was.. i shared my very first subway meal with him.. and he shared his very first tandem biking experience with me =D

took lotsa funny pix but they're still with sha n jan +_+

it's been 7 months..but it didn't feel that long ago and distant..

we bought this island life luggage tag ^_^ so we can put our pix in..

wish we could have more fun together..

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Thx to XQ, Sha, Jan, Esther, Nick, ADTC for making an effort to keep in touch and giving me your blessings. ;)


Love you all my frens!

Yours truly,

Jas.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

I'm glad I found someone I can slowly learn to trust. =]

And here are some tips I found from www.everystudent.com
[meant more for guys]

Dating Advice #1:I now know that sex isn't all it's cracked up to be.
When I was in university, I remember having an experience that I referred to as a "love hangover." After being with a girl, the next morning I always felt an emptiness. That's something you won't see on TV or in films, but it happens a lot. There was emptiness, even regret, afterwards.
The "love hangover" was a strange occurrence for me. Mainly because when I was in university, sex was my "god." As a male, it's what I thought about morning, noon and night. So you would imagine that having sex would have been completely fulfilling-- the crowning achievement in the worship of my "god." And yet, there was often a lack of fulfilment afterwards.
Has that been your experience, too? Have you ever had a "love hangover"? If you have, you should stop and consider, "Why is that? Why is it that sex, if it's so important to me, leaves me with an empty feeling?"
I remember being confused by this emptiness. I then concluded: "I just need more [sex], that's all." (We often think this way about stuff we hope will fulfil us, then doesn't. For example, we get the car we've always wanted, but then it's just "okay" after awhile. Instead of realizing that a car can't really satisfy us, we usually make the error of thinking, "Well, I guess that wasn't the right car. A different one will give me lasting fulfilment.")
But the emptiness continued. So, finally, I came to the conclusion that premarital sex wasn't all it's cracked up to be. It gets too much hype. It's not what films make it out to be. If it were, it would be completely fulfiling. There wouldn't be any "emptiness."

Dating Advice #2:I now want to be more honourable toward women.
I've found that girls often don't fully understand what's going on when it comes to sex. That is, their perspective on the whole thing is very different from a guy's. Often a girl will justify sex by saying, "But I love him," even if she doesn't really want to go through with it. Why does that happen? It's been said that, "Girls use sex to get love; guys use love to get sex."
This is how it works: the girl is picturing marrying the guy some day; the guy is picturing everything he wants to do with the girl before he goes back to tell his buddies about it. And while something inside her is telling her it's the right thing to do, something inside the guy is telling him just the opposite, yet he proceeds. Why? For the physical pleasure no doubt, but also, I think, for another reason: it makes him feel like a man. But there is a great irony in that, for what is manly about deceiving a woman?
Something I've discovered is that, when you honour a woman, you are honouring yourself. Why? Because someday you will have regret, and the regret will last much longer than the pleasure. In the film Rob Roy, the main character says, "Honour is a gift a man gives himself." When you honour a woman by doing what you know to be right in your heart (that is, what's in her best interest), you honour yourself and insure that you will have no long-lasting regrets to live with.

Dating Advice #3:That's somebody else's wife.
Here's what I mean: most of the girls I've been with are now married to other men. When I put myself in the shoes of those men, I wish that I hadn't done what I've done. In fact, I might even like to punch myself in the nose for it.
And so it goes without saying that when I get married, I'm not going to like the idea that someone else has had his way with my wife. What about you? Do you like the idea of someone else being with your wife? If you have a girlfriend now and feel that way, think of how much stronger that feeling will be with your wife someday.
You can even take it a step further. That girl is someone's daughter. What if she were my daughter? Or what if she were my sister? Would I want some guy like me taking advantage of her? I now see girls from a different perspective. They're someone else's future wife, someone else's daughter, sister, etc.

Dating Advice #4:Sex has killed my best relationships.
For example, I had a university sweetheart, the girl of my dreams. With her, there was never a dull moment. We totally "clicked." We waited for awhile, then, through my initiation, we started having sex.
Sex soon became the focus of our relationship. I stopped wanting to get to know her on any other level. And so, instead of growing closer together, we actually started drifting apart. That's what I mean by "sex killed my best relationships." People can relate on many different levels -- emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually. But when my girlfriend and I started relating mostly physically, it short-circuited the other parts of our relationship. As a result, the relationship as a whole started to go south. We might still be together today if we (I) had waited.
I've seen this happen with countless relationships, not just others of my own, but those of many other people. And I think there's a reason for this, which I'll explain next.

Dating Advice #5:Sex before marriage ruins the other parts of the relationship.
For me, two things happened once I had sex with a girl. As I look back on it, I can say that they happened literally every time, although I was unaware of these dynamics at the time. The two things were this: 1) I lost respect for the girl (even though I didn't want to); and 2) she began to mistrust me (even though she didn't want to).
I don't know why this happened, I just know that it did. Maybe it's just built into "the system." But one thing's for sure: I'm not alone. I've seen it happen over and over again. I know many people having marital problems because they engaged in premarital sex. They go into the marriage with lack of respect and lack of trust, two absolute necessities for the health of any marriage.
I know a newlywed couple who have sex less than once a month because of this--he doesn't respect her, she knows it, and she doesn't trust him, so she doesn't want to give herself to him. It's very sad, and more common than you might think. But nobody talks about this kind of thing in public. And the film and TV portrayals of couples having sex before marriage never present it either. It's like no one wants to acknowledge that it's happening, even though it is.

Dating Advice #6:Waiting to have sex with my wife will mean better sex in my marriage.
Why? Because we'll go into the marriage with me having more respect for her and her having more trust in me. One thing I've learnt: if a girl doesn't trust a guy, she doesn't want to give herself wholly to him. Deep down, she doesn't really enjoy being with him.
This is how it works. Since "girls use sex to get love, and guys use love to get sex," a couple will have sex before marriage. The girl does this to hold on to the relationship. The guy does it because he wants it even more than the relationship itself. Then, after the marriage, the woman has what she wants: a commitment from the man. So she doesn't need to use sex to get him anymore. And, because she may be harboring resentment because he had sex with her before they were married, she is now not interested in sex. And the guy -- who doesn't treasure his wife because of the sex before marriage -- still wants sex but not as a total bonding experience with his wife. It's just sex, which she figures out. So, there is a lousy sex life in the marriage.
I'm not making this stuff up. Now that I'm out of university and many people around me are getting married, I'm seeing it happen all the time. The antidote: waiting for marriage to have sex will give the man a greater respect for his wife and the woman a greater respect for her husband. And consequently they'll have better and more frequent sex because they respect each other more and love each other more deeply.

Dating Advice #7:Not having sex with other women will mean better sex in my marriage.
Sex is a mysterious thing that causes a deep bond between people, even if we call it "casual." The problem is this: the more I bond with other girls, the less I'll be able to bond with my future wife. It's like a piece of scotch tape -- the more you use it on different surfaces, the less it sticks to things. After awhile, it won't stick to anything.
If I bond with other girls before I get married, I won't be able to bond as well with my wife someday. I won't cherish her as much as I could have, and consequently I won't love her as much as I could have. Each day that passes that I've remained faithful to my future wife means that my relationship with her will be better.
It's a funny thing: our culture decries adultery, yet it freely condones premarital sex, even with multiple partners. That's ironic. Because, if you take the element of time out of the equation, premarital sex is adultery. We can imagine how adultery would greatly injure a marriage relationship, maybe premarital sex actually has nearly the same result. It injures the potential bond between a man and a woman.

Dating Advice #8:I don't have to sleep with a woman to know if we're "sexually compatible."
Sex is meant to compliment a relationship, not be the most important aspect of it. That's what I've found out. It's supposed to be the icing on the cake when all the other aspects of your relationship are working well. I've come to understand that the sex will be good if the rest of the relationship is good. That's why I know I don't have to sleep with my wife to find out if we're sexually compatible. If we get along in every other area, the sex will be fine.
Something else needs to be said here. Another thing I think I've "discovered" is this: when you place sex as the determining factor of the relationship, it will probably result in poor sex. Think about it. If you put your sexual relationship under a microscope, always judging it and judging the relationship by it, it's doomed to fail. It's like being in prison. You're locked in to something that is supposed to be freeing, not incapacitating.
But, when you focus on the other parts of the relationship, and the sex isn't the focus, then you're freed up to have a more enjoyable sex life, with no pressure of having to make it always spectacular. (Because it won't be.) And yet, I don't think that as a university-age adult I was capable of not focusing on sex, that is, unless it wasn't present at all. That's why I think it's best to wait altogether.

Lust is powerful and seductive, but it's inherently selfish and opposed to love. As we foster and feed lust in our lives we're dragged inexorably towards isolation, loneliness, insecurity and emptiness. What do we have left when orgasm becomes boring and unsatisfying, left alone to face the pain of guilt and loneliness?

Love with commitment is clearly very expensive and hard work. It requires honour, respect, forgiveness and sacrifice. However it's the road out of the loneliness, suspicion and despair that plagues our culture. If we substitute lust for love we end up with a meaningless sensation which eventually loses its novelty and can never satisfy beyond the physical.

Friday, July 04, 2008

Totally shagged after camp.

Got a fever and some throat inflammation. But I'm fine after seeing the doc.

Got to know really cool seniors, learn cool cheers..
Had fun making boobs for guys for a skid. It was so funny I wanted to pee when I was squeezing his new boobs.. XP

and kinda getting used to Archi life. =]

Sad to say, I haven't found anyone I like [as a partner yet] cos da seniors said most likely you would find your partner there. oh wells.


Going for Cath High Family Day!!

Ciao.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

I was tagged by Sha.. =] see? mei mei ish so zi dong [aka automatic]
A. If your lover betrays you, what will you do?
If I'm not in a rotten mood, I'd slap him and kick him in the nuts. If I'm in an ultra bad mood, I might go cranky, stab/chop him and kick him in the nuts. It depends =p
B. If you can have a dream that will come true, what will it be?
Find a good guy who loves me and have enough money to travel around the world.
C. What will your dream wedding be like?
I don't need an ultra showy wedding. I just want my closest buddies to give me their blessings and have this really honest husband-to-be to really love me.
D. Are you confused of what lies ahead of you?
I guess.. well, I'm really poor with directions, more so when it comes to directions in life. But I think I'll just have to keep walking and learn all that I can..
E. What is your ideal lover like?
Sigh. What's the point of talking about ideal partner? Realistically, he just has to be caring, supporting, sincere and serious about wanting to spend his life with me.. going through everything together. Is that difficult?
F. Which is more blessed, loving or being loved?
Being loved.
G. How long do you intent to wait for someone you love?
So long as he's still interested, just not ready. [But the thing is.. what do you mean by wait for someone? Honestly, I don't really mind waiting if it meant marriage. But I do mind if waiting meant waiting for him to express his feelings. As in, if he's not interested.. then it's off. What for waste time when I can take that same time to find someone else who might be interested. Right? =]
H. If the person you like is secretly attached, what will you do?
I will slap him and kick him in the nuts for wasting my time and precious youth =p
I. Is there anything that has made you unhappy this few days?
Boring work that never seem to end.. Feeling a bit lonely.
J. What do you want most in life?
Sincerity in relationships. It's the one thing that's really hard to get nowadays.
K. Do you like being tagged?
Yeah. It's quite fun =]
L. How do you see yourself in 10 years time?
Wrinkles =X [hope to have long hair] More mature, stronger and independent.
M. Who are the most important people in your life now?
My family and close friends.
N. What kind of person do you think that the person who tagged you is?
Incredibly enjoyable-to-be-with, my lovely sister :)
O. If you could ask that person for a request and that person will return it, what will it be?
Find me that angmoh bf ah!! Bring a few so I can select xp!!
P. What is the first thing you will do every morning?
Look at my watch.. do a stretch and sink back onto my lovely bed for another 5 minutes or so.
Q. Would you give it all in a relationship?
Depends on what 'all' means. I'd definitely put in a lot of effort to keep the relationship healthy and going so long as he's willing to put in effort as well.
R. If you were to fall for 2 people at the same time, who will you pick?=\ 2 people?
If both love me with all their hearts and one is rich, the other is poor.. I'll pick da rich one. Ahaha.. heh. If da poor guy really loves me, he'd want me to be happy too, right? So actually, either won't be too upset cos they love me and want me to be happy. If both are equally rich and both love me.. Haiya so easy! pick da one who's more anti-social/sickly! Ahaha.. inherit all da money when he dies. =_= okok.. kidding.. Matters of the heart is complicated. Shall decide when it really happens. But I don't think I'm that fortunate.. =p to have 2 guys after me.
S. What type of friends do you like?
Friends that will go through thick and thin with me =]
T. If you played a prank on someone and they fall for it, what will you do?
Tease them each time I see them. =]

Friday, June 20, 2008

OH NO!! Exceeded my HP bill for 3 months!!!! *ahhhhhhhh *glares at some individuals who's been tempting me to msg back. *shrugs. humph.

So I shall NOT touch my phone and msg unless absolutely necessary!

NO. DON'T YOU MSG ME UNNECESSARILY. I WON'T REPLY [via msg and using hp to call]

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

What if us gals earn more than our guys? Read this article first.



Some things that I agree with


  • The fact that I can trust someone with all my thoughts and insecurities and know that he still loves me. The assurance of being accepted for what and who I am. The intellectual rapport we share. The giddy feeling that comes from being in love and knowing that someone out there cares about you. Is something money can't buy.

  • Why would I look down on him? I never fell in love with his wallet or with his bank balance. I fell in love with him. If I did look down upon him, I would never consider marrying him.

  • Why should respect be the result of money? I respect my boyfriend for who he is and what he means to me. Whether rich or poor, his character (and my opinion of it) does not change..

  • After listening to our parents' views and concerns, I have to admit income inequality could sow bitter seeds of contention, instead of unity and stability.

  • But whether or not it becomes an issue when the balance in earning power is tipped towards the woman is very personal to each couple.

  • It ultimately boils down to people's core beliefs about who they are and what they need to be doing to feel like a 'real' man or woman.

  • While I feel the insecurity of a man earning less than a woman is sheer stupidity on the part of mature adults, it does exist.

Note: The above is on the assumption that I will have a boyfriend who earns less than me in the future. Right now, I'm still available and single. ^_^

Ok. Now from my own thinking about this issue.

First of all, I do have a certain kind of lifestyle that I want to live by. I guess I'm raised in a high-middle class family. I remember how good times were then, when I was young. And I think that's the motivation behind why I want to be financially stable, to return to that kind of living. [basically, just buying things every weekend, going on shopping, high tea, having a good time.. and all these need money.]

I won't really mind if my boyfriend/husband earns less than me and I'm willing to support the family by contributing more [it's like progressive tax, earn more, pay more] And I would happily help him in any situation if he needs me [after all, what are friends/relatives for]

I think the main problem is how the other party looks at it? Sometimes, there are cases where the man has this 'ego' thing going on. Yea, like the need to be in-charge and the need to provide. It's more or less something built into our minds. But I believe in changes, positive changes. I believe that in a family, we all have responsibilities and our places. I think we can share our responsibilities and make compromises. If he's not comfortable with something, we can always work out solutions.

Conclusion: Communication is the KEY to a healthy and good relationship.


Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Love is like food.. You just need it.

So what kind of food/love do you like?

In love, I know I tend to think of what could have been better or what's da next dish. Sometimes, after eating the same dish for a long time, you get sick of it. And you crave for something else, like cake for a change..

But it's not very feasible to eat cake all your life right?

So.. I've decided.. I wanna find that nice plate of fragrant white rice.. cos I can decide how to cook it. I can fry it, steam it, mash it, add stuff to it.. i can make it into fried rice, dumpling, sushi, some weird rice pie.. anything so long as I'm creative! So you see.. good old rice is my staple and it can last for a long time ^_^ I just have to put in some effort so that it's not plain and boring =]

Yummy rice! I'm coming~~ haha.
your Life Path of 8 ...
You are a natural born winner who is destined to make a lot of money.[hope that's true!] You are confident, charismatic and most comfortable in dealing with practical, down-to-earth affairs. You are blessed with an extraordinary drive and ambition as well as a fierce competitive spirit that gives you a definite edge in career and business. You thrive best in a job that has a predictable routine and a tall social ladder to climb. You take great pride in your physical appearance and often appear very attractive to the opposite sex, which is only a hazard if the romance happens on the job.


You have excellent taste in clothes and know how to gain the focus of an entire room of strangers. You don't have much patience with people who are dreamy or mystical in nature and are a rationalist at heart. You believe that an effect follows a definite cause and that logic and efficiency is what produces results in life. You are ruled by head and not your heart, especially in matters of business. Sometimes this gives you a bit of a reputation for being cut throat. Sometimes you are not so much respected as feared by those that you lead. You are also the most status conscious of all of the numbers and aspire to be a pillar of the community. However, one of your life challenges might be to learn how to share your wealth in a truly philanthropic way rather than try to appear charitable for appearance's sake. Your will and determination to succeed is unrivalled by any other number. Once you conceive of an idea you have absolutely no problem sticking with it and seeing it through to completion even if it takes a number of years.

Often you win at the game of life because you had the tenacity to be the last man standing. You tend to be connected more to material wealth than spiritual wealth and to lust more than sex. Many of you marry for social reasons or because the individual seems right for the position of spouse. Your family unit often conceals a lot of secrets as when these relationships do not work out, you cannot bear the humiliation of separation or divorce. Although you have a lot of courage in other areas of your life you often don't have the courage to end a bad relationships for fear of what others might think. Often the strength of your personality is overwhelming for those who come into contact with you. This strong personality is fantastic when it comes to career but it can damage your relationships with family and friends. Many 8's do not have real friends but rather a collection of individuals who admire their power.

Likewise there is a tendency for your family or children to feel neglected as your career takes precedence over their emotional demands. One of your life challenges is to avoid dedicating your entire life to material success and allowing for spontaneity and love in your life. You are also very athletic and likely to be good at sports. As you like to play as hard as you work you enjoy any past time that is competitive including golf, chess, equestrian pursuits. You are also a master manipulator who knows how to compel others to do your will. Often you are an employer or a land owner who is responsible for the livelihoods of many other people. Being a wise provider is the way that you can most benefit others.

Your Expression - which describes your potential natural talents and abilities - works out to be a 7.

What a '7' Expression Means About You

Your Potential Natural Talents and Abilities

You are a secret rebel and a loner preferring the company of your brilliant thoughts and fantastic daydreams to the company of other people. You are incredibly spiritually sophisticated and this creates an odd air of detachment to your personality. You tend to express yourself in a very blunt manner to others simply because you are not a big believer in wasting time with niceties. You tend to not express yourself well through your facial expressions or body language although you can be quite eloquent with words. You do not say much but when you do say something it is usually acutely observant or very enlightening.

To you the ultimate expression of your higher self lies within the mysteries of science, nature and the occult. Most number 7s tend to be interested in all three topics. Many are mathematicians, naturalists, anthropologists, historians or priests. The virtues of solitude appeal to you most as it allows you the peace and acres of time that you need to investigate your favorite subjects. Even if you have never gone to school you probably have the equivalent of a Ph.D in some kind of esoteric or scientific subject. An important part of your self-expression is the ability to be able to pass this knowledge onto a willing enthusiast or student one day. You are also likely to choose a romantic partner that shares your intellectual passions. As you are so quirky it takes a very special person indeed to understand your complex body language and need for a lot of personal space. Usually when you do find a partner that understands you, you are so grateful, that you become loyal for life.

Although you make a great teacher, you do not necessarily make a good parent. This is because a child's curiosity often competes with your own child like need to be inquisitive and live in a fantasy world. You are very logical and in terms of your personal tastes, believe that beauty is a matter of form following function. You are also a perfectionist so much of what you own will probably be the very best or state of the art. You should be well able to afford this as your deeply analytical and logical mind also often lends you a talent for investing money. Although you like owning the best on the market you are not the type to show off. You tend to hide your wealth from others as well as you hide your other secrets.

This is partly an attempt on your part to see if an individual likes you for you. You are very uncomfortable with expressions of emotion and often avoid "feeling your feelings." Many of you may equate relationships with the idea of pain or as an element that could potentially throw you off your balance or defocus you from your "real work." Sometimes your emotions are manifested through illness as you have a tendency to stash all of your feelings, especially the painful ones such as resentment, to the back of your subconcious where they fester for years. You are also prone to obsession if you let your feelings somehow become the focus of your life.

The challenge of some number sevens is to distinguish the difference between how they feel about a situation and the reality of it. Your reverence for the mysteries of the universe makes you an adamant seeker of truth. Your search for an ideal society or a spiritual epiphany makes you more vulnerable than other numbers to the influences of cults or religious leaders.

Now, Let's Examine Your Soul Urge(also known as your "Heart's Desire")

your Soul Urge of 5 ...What You Desire To Be, To Have, and To Do In Your Life

You love change. You live to experience as much as possible in the shortest amount of time possible. You appreciate the fact that life is short and are bound and determined to make the most of every minute you have on this earth. You have an inquisitive mind and a thirst for adventure that is only slaked by the collecting of unusual experiences and plenty of travel. Your adaptable nature puts you at home anywhere. You are also a bit of chameleon that is able to transform its appearance and nature to suit the environment. You are a big believer in the phrase "When in Rome.. Do as the Romans do."

Your closet is usually full of many costumes, as part of your soul's satisfaction is to do a bit of \"play acting\" in real life. You also possess the rare gift of detachment. Emotionally this grants you the ability to have a serial number of relationships throughout your life yet not suffer any kind of trauma or nasty consequences when one ends. However your casual attitude towards relationships often devastates others who interpret your adventurous spirit as an unwillingness to settle down and put down roots. This gives you the reputation of being "shallow" or a "heartbreaker" when nothing could be further from the truth.

You simply don't connect to others in the same way they do to you and you are frustrated by those who can't seem to get on with their life the same way you are able to. In fact you can't think of a bigger disservice to one's soul than to give up one's right to pursue their heart's desire. You feel smothered by individuals who define love as giving up your heart and soul for another. Your definition of love is more spiritually sophisticated. You believe that an expression of true love for another soul is the courage to let them go to pursue their own path. Another one of your blessings is that it simply does not occur to you to be overemotional about things or create dramas. You are a very difficult person to pick a fight with as you have a pacifist nature. You simply see ugly emotional scenes as beneath you and you are often long gone before a battle of wills is likely to take place.

You are also very accepting of different cultures and in particular, religious and political points of view. Unfortunately others see this omniscience as procrastination or as two faced as you have a way of "agreeing with everyone." Your refusal to take a stand sometimes costs you dearly professionally. This is often a mystery to you as from your point of view all you were doing is being fair. You intrinsically understand that without change there is no evolution. This is why somehow, many of you end up as being the catalyst for change in many situations. Sometimes the change that your very presence provokes is constructive and good and sometimes you are the culprit that causes complete chaos.

However often your motivation for revealing secrets or destroying relationships is to clear out the old and create way for the new. You are also graced with an astounding amount of courage. Like water you have the ability to wear down obstacles like water in a stream wears down a rock over a long period of time. Although you may appear unpredictable or unreliable to others you are actually a very complex individual who often harbors a clear vision of who they want to be and how they want to live in the future.

http://www.in-depth-numerology.com/

Monday, June 09, 2008

Such a great article I wanna share! It's about true friendship. =D

pls click here.

And this article here is for guys.. ahaha. just for laughs.

Sunday, June 08, 2008

Remember the time when you were young and wanted to be a someone.. say.. a superstar, a fireman, a chef, soldier, superman.. whatever?
yea.. when I was a kid, I had a whole lot of those fantasies. Wanted to be an astrologer, then later some chinese female warrior and then a policewoman. haha.. I guess we're all kids and love to daydream.

now that we're all grown up, what kind of dreams do we have? Grow up faster, make lots of money, get a house, a car, get married? that's all? I don't know.. but it's really quite sad that most of us have lost that innocence we used to have. Is that the price for growing up? I used to resist growing up.. for fear of losing this innocence. But I learnt to take things slowly and decide what I want to keep and what I want to discard as I grow up. I hope I haven't lost myself in the rat race. I still have my dream, to explore the world. I guess that's one thing I will never give up.

I really hope to earn a lot to finance and materialise this dream. =]

On getting married? Nah, it's not really something I'm after. I can't be like my friend who wants to marry, have kids and be a rich tai tai. It's too troublesome =D
However, I do hope to find someone who could love me and have the same idea that kids are troublesome! And is willing to work hard in his field and go travelling some day ;)

haha. and so.. I continue dreaming.

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Gemini Descendant

If Gemini lies on your Descendant, you're searching for a partner who will help you to see the trees for the forest, someone who will deflate your rhetoric with their keen view of reality. Since you have Sagittarius Rising, you have a tendency to want to roam the world endlessly, to continuously question your life's path and explore your every whim and curiosity. Being tied down frightens you, and you instinctually seek out partners who will make you aware of the smaller picture, someone who will want to keep moving around as much you do. When it comes to love, you paint with broad strokes, idealizing the notion of love and expecting your lovers to live up to your high intellectual expectations. You'd be happiest with someone vibrant and youthful; they must mentally stimulate you yet not congratulate you for your occasional arrogance and preachiness!

http://horoscopes.astrology.com/astronet/love/descendant.html

When Sagittarius is your Rising Sign, your freedom and independence are probably two of the things you value most in life. You find it, therefore, very difficult to tolerate anyone or anything that places limitations on your thoughts and activities.

Where marriage or close relationships are concerned, this influence of Sagittarius can cause problems. The reason is that committing yourself to share your life with another person automatically imposes a certain amount of restriction on your freedom and independence.

After the initial romance has faded and your partnership has become a practical affair with all the daily routine it involves, you can begin to resent the fact that you are no longer free and independent. Unless you take full control of this shift in attitude, the influence of Sagittarius rising can lead to a broken relationship. As a matter of fact, this particular Zodiac position is notorious in the divorce courts and in the lives of many people who have married more than once. Of course, there is also the other extreme where the person refuses to surrender his or her freedom and does not marry at all. Where happiness in a partnership is concerned, the influence of the Sun, Moon and planets will be of paramount importance. Certainly not every person with Sagittarius on the Ascendant will go through a separation or a divorce but, nevertheless, it is an influence that needs careful handling.

Vitality is a dominant characteristic of this Sign, and since you love the freedom you find in the outdoors and in the fresh air, in the sunshine and the wide, open spaces, you enjoy expressing your energy in various types of sporting or outdoor activities where you can feel totally unrestricted and unhampered. You have an optimistic nature, so that it takes a lot to get you down; even when this does happen, you soon come bubbling back again. After all, with jovial Jupiter as your personal planet, it is not surprising that you laugh and smile more than most people.

You have an enthusiastic, colourful, even flamboyant personality, but you do have a tendency to be over-confident, over-optimistic and prone to exaggeration. These intemperate enthusiasms plus the volatility of your spirit, can sometimes lead you astray or put people off side. You are seldom subtle and certainly never devious, preferring instead I to be completely candid, open and frank, even to the point of bluntness. Just remember that your abrupt manner is not always understood by some of the reserved, conservative people with whom you come into contact.

http://www.miltonblack.com.au/ast/ascendants/sagittarius.htm
was thinking about ascendants.. you can check out what's yours rather easily.. just google for 'what is your rising sign?' yup. should be able to find out. So.. I have sagittarius rising. =] unsuprising for my restlessness and optimism huh ^_^ here's some juicy info once you know your ascendant

The Ascendant is the degree of the ecliptic which is rising over the Eastern horizon at the precise time and place of an individual's birth. Put more simply, the Ascendant Sign is the sign of the zodiac which is rising in the East at the moment of birth, and this sign, and the exact position of the Ascending degree, are the starting points in any astrological interpretation.

The Ascendant shows us as we really are - as opposed to the Sun sign which represents our ego and how we would like to be. This is most strikingly obvious if one talks about a person to someone who a casual acquaintance, and describes their character as shown by the Ascendant Sign - in the vast majority of cases, the third person cannot identify those traits as belonging to the subject at all, because Ascendant Sign traits are those that emerge only to those closest to us, and who know us really well. You may find it very revealing to see how this applies to you personally, so let's now take a quick tour through the zodiac signs to see how they behave when instead of being the Sun Sign they are the Ascendant Sign.

Aries Ascendant
The most noticeable trait about an Aries Ascendant person is their overwhelming desire to win. They have an energetic driving force ad remarkable energy reserves. Ruthlessness can be a problem, although competition is generally an excellent spur. There are many strong and positive traits in this placing, but perhaps this person needs to learn to step back a little and take a closer look at what they are doing and why they are doing it. Frequent headaches are common with this placing. In contrast to the independence of Sun sign Arians, those with Aries rising have a very strong need for a permanent partner, and they can be surprisingly understanding, compassionate and tolerant of their loved ones.

Taurus Ascendant
The basic impulse in a person with Taurus rising is acquisition, and this need to possess both things and people is even strong than in those with a Taurus sun. Often these people cannot feel psychologically whole until they can surround themselves with physical proof of their material success. Routine and security are important, and those with Taurus rising don't really enjoy stepping out of their comfort zone. Stubbornness and self-righteousness are as much in evidence as with a Taurus sun, but for those with Taurus rising deep self-understanding has be found the hard way. There can be difficulties with the thyroid gland with this placing. This placing also brings a very deep sexual need, and relationships in general will be intense and passionate. Demanding partners, those with Taurus rising can nonetheless be a tower of strength to those they love.

Gemini Ascendant
Although inherently changeable and flighty, those with Gemini rising don't have their heads in the clouds. With everything life throws at them, they just want one answer - can it be proven by either argument or evidence? Questioning every concept that is put to them, these people are equally adept at questioning themselves, and therefore usually have a high degree of self-understanding. Passionate enthusiasm and joie de vivre are normal in relationships for people with Gemini rising, and shared interests are essential with much intellectual satisfaction being gained from friendly debate. A strong independent streak is likely, though, and the person with Gemini rising abhors possessiveness and jealousy. The hands are often vulnerable with this placing, especially to arthritis. Nervous tension is also a very real problem, and a high number of those with a Gemini Ascendant succumb to asthma.

Cancer Ascendant
With Cancer rising, a great deal of satisfaction is gained through caring for others. Sometimes the instinct to care for loved ones is so strong that anyone and anything outside the immediate circle can be viewed as a threat. The attitude is protective, however, rather than possessive. Those with Cancer rising give out a huge amount of energy to their families and loved ones, and in the absence of a loved one this energy is usually channelled into one particular focus, often a vocation or a chosen cause. Social climbing can be a problem with this placing as these people are especially ambitious for their partners, rather than for themselves. Illogical worry about health is likely, causing a vicious circle of nervous anxiety which should be recognised and dealt with. This Ascendant placing is not one of the strongest, and therefore any planets in the first house, especially if conjunct the Ascendant, will have a powerful impact upon the personality.

Leo Ascendant
The person with Leo rising is likely to be incredibly well organised, but also rather bossy or even pompous. The desire to succeed is very strong in those with this placing, but this can lead to the stifling of all other interests in favour of the career. Those with a Leo Ascendant are very concerned with status, and will want to work always to enhance the standing of themselves and their loved ones, although material success in its own right is less important to them than the kudos that goes with it. Usually psychologically secure, this placing confers a great deal of inner strength and can be very dynamic. Back or neck pain is common.

Virgo Ascendant
Those with a Virgo Ascendant often have a Gemini Midheaven, and as both of these signs are ruled by communicative Mercury, this planet easily becomes the most important in the natal chart. The person with Virgo rising has a need to examine every aspect of his or her life in minute detail, and they are the zodiac's greatest communicators. Usually very well integrated psychologically, this can be a very fulfilling position provided that the potential here is positively directed. This can be easier said than done because the Sun Sign Virgo tendency to worry and to criticise is turned inwards on the self when this sign rises, so self-confidence and self-esteem are often rather low. A remarkable warmth in personal relationships belies this sign's reputation to nag, although people with this placing do tend to encourage their loved ones rather 'vigorously'.

Libra Ascendant
Libra is not one of the strongest signs in the zodiac, even when rising, so any other powerful influence in the chart can easily sap it's quiet dignity. The basis of the personality, however, if unopposed, is the need to relate to others. Very often the person with Libra rising will rush into all sorts of unsuitable relationships on the basis that any partner is better than no partner. The notorious sun sign Libran tendency to be in love with love is however spiced with a lively sexuality when Libra rises, and an altogether more 'worldly' outlook on life. Naturally charming and gentle, these people do however tend to take the easy way out of any tricky situations, and can often be prone to self deception.

Scorpio Ascendant
Scorpio is a very powerful sign, and when it is the rising sign it often dominates the rest of the chart. The deep sense of purpose attributed to Scorpio as a sun sign is likely to be even more deep seated when this sign rises, so here is a very intense and driven person. Considerable energy and organisational abilities are combined with leadership powers in what can be a formidable combination. There is often, however, a need for power for it's own sake, and those with Scorpio rising need to take care not to become obsessive or autocratic. With a deep need to know themselves, the person with a Scorpio Ascendant is capable of seeing their own problems and faults clearly and honestly, but this introspection can often lead to confidence struggles. Emotional security is very important with this placing, but may be exacerbated by jealousy and possessiveness, which can be difficult for a partner to handle.

Sagittarius Ascendant
The need for challenge, so important in a sun sign Sagittarian, is even more important when Sagittarius rises. This placing usually brings a great deal of self confidence together with an expansive, enthusiastic demeanour which is at once charming and endearing. Able to inspire others almost as well as they can inspire themselves, those with Sagittarius rising have an objective and philosophical outlook on life, and are amongst the most broad minded folk you will ever encounter. A tendency to rush in, however, together with a great deal of restlessness, sometimes means that all that potential isn't exploited to its full. Intellectual challenge in essential to these people, both in their working and their personal lives, and a healthy amount of sexual exuberance is also necessary in a romance. Quickly bored, however, the person with Sagittarius rising is open to depression when life offers no challenge, and once in depression, they find it uncharacteristically difficult to climb out.

Capricorn Ascendant
The most crucial issue for those with Capricorn rising is their wavering self-confidence - on moment they can climb mountains, the next they can barely cope with the supermarket. This often means that the person with a Capricorn Ascendant is very confident is some areas (usually work) and quite shy and reserved in others (usually personal). An inability to see themselves clearly leads them to ignore the compliments people offer, and to seriously undervalue their abilities and strengths. Once settled into a relationship, the Capricorn rising person is surprisingly sensitive and emotional, although a tendency to worry does sometimes turn into nagging. Digestive upsets are easily caused by emotional tension, and pessimism can be a real problem. Inherently rational, the Capricorn rising person needs to make room in their lives for spirituality.

Aquarius Ascendant
'Enigmatic' is perhaps the best way to describe someone with an Aquarius Ascendant. The diffidence and emotional coolness of the sun sign are even more evident with Aquarius rises, as is the independent nature and free spirit. Kind and friendly, the Aquarius rising person needs to learn to accept others at face value and not to erect barriers. Eager for self-knowledge, they nonetheless deliberately make it difficult for others to get too close. Relationships are quite an issue in this placing, with the subject always been torn between wanting to retain their independence and freedom yet at the same time longing for a loving relationship. At times perverse and very stubborn, these people can be their own worse enemies, yet they are true humanitarians - sometimes more concerned about the world at large than their own individual loved ones.

Pisces Ascendant
When Pisces rises the person concerned can be in real danger of losing their identity, especially if in a relationship with someone with much stronger personality traits. The Pisces rising person is in many ways a mirror, reflecting back at others precisely what they want to see, yet the true person remains hidden, vulnerable and more than a little frightened. With enormous imaginative and creative talents, the person with Pisces Ascendant is probably one of the true artists of the zodiac, in whatever form they may choose to use their skills. Sensitive and more than a little gullible they need to take care that they are not taken advantage of. Shyness and a lack of confidence are common, as are psychic and healing abilities and a great deal of spiritual wisdom.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

I was in college the night I met him. And even after all these years, the thing I remember most is the unexpected, very physical shiver that immediately ran up my spine when he looked at me. He’s It, that shiver said.
We talked, we flirted, we had our first date two days later. I fell hard. I loved that he was sweet, but not saccharine. I loved that
he was Jewish, but not too Jewish. I loved that he was a fan of Hot Tamales, the candy I ate by the truckload back then. And (OK, call me shallow) I loved that he was an Ivy League graduate.
Our odds were good: I was 20, he was 23, and we added up to the perfect couple. Except that after three years, as I was busy trying to drop the subtle hint that my ring size was 6 3/4, he was busy
cheating on me. I found out, we broke up, and let’s just say the next six months weren’t pretty.
I’m still not sure what got to me the most: the rejection or the fact that I had truly believed, in my gut, that my boyfriend was The One. So if that first shiver, followed by a fabulous three-year relationship, wasn’t the telltale sign, how does anyone ever know who’s right for them in the long run?
Apparently, I’m not the only person who has struggled with this question. It came up again last summer, at my client Amy’s wedding. I was seated at the “singles table,” since brides often like to treat their unattached friends to my dating advice.

The woman next to me leaned over and whispered, “When Amy met Kurt, she told me she just knew it was right. When will I ever feel that way?”
I knew the answer she wanted to hear. By now I’ve coached thousands of singles on how to find love, and watched hundreds of clients and friends trot down the aisle. But what I wanted to tell her was, “Maybe never.”
It wasn’t that I didn’t believe this woman would ever find the right guy. It was more that I feared she might never know he was the right guy. An hour earlier, sitting in the church, it struck me that what I was really witnessing was a crapshoot. Here was this couple at the altar, pledging their lives to each other.
And as happy as I was for them, I knew the truth: When you get married, all you can really do is roll the dice and hope for the best.
But everywhere I go, I meet smug married couples who love to relate the moment they “just knew” they’d found their life partners. As far as I’m concerned, it’s revisionist history; if the marriage in question has worked out so far, they say they acted on their rocksolid gut. But if it ended in divorce, they confess to earlier doubts.

To be frank, I don’t believe anyone can really know this kind of information for sure—and I speak not just from my college relationship, or from all my years as a dating coach, but from reflecting back on my own 1992 wedding.
My jitters were epic, the kind that had my friends speculating on how long my marriage would last and the caterer reminding my mother that the deposit was strictly non-refundable.
An hour before my ceremony, I nearly collapsed. As the photographer snapped pictures, my smile was strained; I was terrified. My fiancé, Brad, and I had dated for two years and been engaged for one. We knew each other well. But did we know what the future would hold for us? Of course not.
“So let me get this straight,” my brain was saying. “I’m supposed to decide today to be with one person for the rest of my life because, up until now, things have been great? Because, so far, I still love him?” This made no sense. I was tormented by what everyone had told me for years about marriage in general, and my fiancé in particular—the old “you’ll just know” or “trust your gut.”
Well, this time, I didn’t know, and my gut had a bad stomachache.

So naturally, I took the path of any good drama queen: I dropped my bouquet, slumped into a nearby chair, and burst into tears.
Brad rushed over and shooed away the photographer. While he was aware that I’d had many doubts during the past year, he had none. My own hesitations, on the other hand, were quite serious; I’d even harbored a crush on another man during my engagement year. I’d confessed everything to Brad—I did love him, after all, and wanted our relationship to be honest.
But we were so different—opposites in too many ways. (More than one friend had observed that we were a lot like that Green Acres couple from the ’70s: I was “Gimme Park Avenue” and he was “Farm Livin’ Is the Life for Me.”) How could it work, I wondered, when reality would inevitably come knocking? We loved each other—a lot, as it turned out. But what sane person could believe that love alone would pass the test of time, particularly when 50 percent of today’s marriages end in divorce?
So there I was: big white dress, mascara running. “How can I say ‘forever’?” I sobbed. “It’s too long to commit to!” Brad took my hand. “How about this,” he said gently, not even remotely offended. “Can you commit to being with me for one year?”
“Of course,” I said, sniffling. “That’s easy, but—” He interrupted me.

“Then let’s take it one year at a time. Publicly, we’ll say our vows, ‘until death do us part.’ But privately, we’ll have our own little arrangement. Each year on our anniversary, I’ll ask you if you want to renew. We’ll do this a year at a time. Can you do that?” Overwhelmed by the generosity of his answer, I said that I could. And I did.
These days, my job is to help single men and women find the right mate—and it’s never simple. No one is perfect. Everyone has baggage. And when they’re in that last stage of dating, trying to decide whether or not to make it permanent, my clients usually ask for my opinion. Do I think they should marry this one? Sometimes I say yes, sometimes no. But the truth is, I have no idea.
Making that decision is like skydiving: It’s a crazy thing to do if you think about it logically, but you pray that the ride down will be exhilarating and that you’ll land on your feet. And in my experience, people take that leap of faith with naïve confidence.
Of course, some factors do seem to improve the odds—especially age. I see fewer unhappy couples among those who get married later in life, specifically after 35. This is largely because they’re making the decision to marry with more life experience under their belts.
They’re also committing to a fully formed person. Next comes personality. I’ve observed that opposites who complement each other often do very well. If you marry someone who’s too similar—especially emotionally—you may wind up bored or in conflict.

Finally, try not to be judgmental right out of the gate. I often find that my clients have checklists founded on external, and not internal, traits. Why eliminate a potentially terrific guy because he’s a few inches shorter than you’d ideally prefer? As a general rule, rigidity never pays.
But—and wouldn’t love be easier if this weren’t the case?— it’s different for everyone. Back at that singles’ table, I was immersed, as usual, in conversation about dating and marriage.
Everyone wanted to be a Knower. I lost track of the times I heard the words “The One,” “Soul Mate,” and “Mr. Right.” I realized that the vocabulary these women used assumed that there was one right answer, and that the answer would be obvious when it arrived. I wanted to tell them—but didn’t—that it’s OK if they don’t “just know,” or if “Mr. Right” is “Mr. Probably.”
Sometimes a marriage can be stronger if you have reservations. If your bond seems a little fragile, you take better care to preserve it.
The irony is not lost on me that my greatest fear—committing to someone forever—became the focus of my profession.

But I like to think I was meant to spread the word that it’s OK to have doubts—even profound doubts—before saying “I do.” And, as my own 14th wedding anniversary approaches, I know Brad’s question will come once again.
Which brings me to the lovely part of this story: So far, things have worked out beautifully. Don’t ask me how. He’s really flexible; I’m really not.
I’m perceptive. Him? Not so much. But in a few weeks, when he asks me if I want to renew my vows for another year, I just know what my answer will be.
Rachel Greenwald lives in Denver, Colo. with her husband and children.


http://www.tangomag.com/2006135/the-odds-couple.html/1

Sunday, June 01, 2008

You desire a love that will last forever. You are quite serious about finding this type of love, and that's why you think carefully about the men that you meet before deciding whether you could really love them. You don't just develop a crush on someone overnight: you look at a person's personality and other aspects of their life before deciding to form an attachment. If a guy doesn't meet your expectations, you would rather be alone. Your love has to be perfect. Be careful though, you could be missing out on some worthy relationships because your standards are so high.