When Change Is The Only Constant.

It's been a long time since I last talked about tarot. The last card that I wanted to introduce you to was [the tower] It's is one of destruction. Most people won't like this card as it symbolises a total change..You have to start from scratch again and it really isn't a nice feeling when you know things are falling apart and there's no other way but to restart. However, when there's an end, it also signifies a new beginning. So who says starting over is all bad? It's just well, tedious. According to some sources, it's only when things break down do you see the truth..whatever that means. =p

the main that I wanted to say a long time ago is that I have no faith in human relationships.. I have my reasons. Sometimes, things just don't work out. Whenever you have a situation involving someone you care about, either you or that someone will get hurt eventually. Yes, it's a sweeping statement. Yet, the number of unhappy cases in human relationships that i see is much more than happy ones. I just need to look at myself and my own complicated family, I already know having my own family is a definite (well, almost definite) no no. Even my sis is facing her own problems and I know deep down she's hurting so bad.. That's not all..her child, the whimpers and wails, bring back memories of my own. Does she even know she's in the middle of a family crisis? Well I hope she doesn't, cos I did and I wished I didn't.

Perhaps that's why I'm terrified of commitments..i get the idea that it's a responsibility for me to see things through. it's a burden I'd rather not carry. Which is also why I'm hesitant of joining any religious groups. I know it's different but the commitment is the same. The idea of being a surrogate mother as suggested last time is to escape commitment. I don't wish to see anything happen to my child..anything that brings back ghastly memories of the past. I probably won't be a good mother either. (not that anyone's perfect)

Therefore, this brings me to the conclusion that a world tour to liberate people from sorrow, hunger and illness would be the best course of action for me. ;) sounds good right?

Foolish thoughts that make a lot of sense