When Change Is The Only Constant.

Throughout my life till now, I've never felt so stupid and so weak before. Maybe it's just a mental block, or maybe I'm just plain stupid. I'm taking ages to understand teachers and they, me. This won't do. If I don't buck up soon, how am I gonna earn my money for my world tour? ( fall back to my surrogation plan?!)
I need to pray. I have been anyway..not just because I'm stressed but I'm finding lesser and lesser people to turn to. Sometimes, there are so many thoughts, I tired of voicing them out. So praying keeps me sane and well, I'm not so tired. Still, I only pray (fullstop) maybe that's not gonna help. I'm just decieving myself.
I don't want to feel stupid. ='( not like this. Ya, I may not be smart but I'm not stupid either. Can you understand that? Am I complaining?
Sobs. I'm tired. confuse. afraid. lost. alone.
I don't want to be like this. I'm not like this..but ='(

*note: this is not a sign of giving up. I'll fight back this time. May the strongest win.